Christmas

December 22, 2019 — Laura House

Christmas was a special time for us. When the kids were young, the day was usually spent with extended family, where the cousins performed an annual Christmas pageant in Grandma and Grandpa’s living room. This drama often had drama of its own, like the year that one cousin wanted to use a Barbie doll to depict baby Jesus in the manger and Megan, horrified at the thought, adamantly disagreed. As the kids got older, the pageant continued because there were still little ones that wanted their shot at being a wise man or a shepherd. Those years, the teen participants served as narrators or directors.

After our kids were in college and we had moved to a different region of the country, we enjoyed a relaxing celebration together. Sometimes we would attend a Christmas Eve service or watch a movie rendition of the birth of Jesus. We still prepared our fancy Christmas morning brunch, always consisting of a breakfast casserole, sausage links, buttery grits, orange rolls, (Nathan’s favorite), cinnamon rolls, and fruit. Opening gifts from each other on Christmas morning, there was genuine excitement — the giver filled with anticipation to see the recipient open the gift they had carefully chosen for them. From the time our children were old enough to give gifts to each other until adulthood, they delighted in being the gift-giver. I remember one Christmas when Nathan had purchased a marionette puppet for Megan at the Wilmore Community Center thrift shop. Watching her open it was the highlight of his day. Although we were never expensive gift-givers, the gifts always had meaning and were treasured by the recipient.

Then there was the year that Nathan got his much wanted remote control airplane, the Firebird. Even though it was nearly zero degrees outside, he just had to launch its maiden voyage that day. As the rest of us huddled close to the window to watch, he trudged through the snowdrifts out to the field, tossed the plane in the air like a pro, and expertly guided it with the remote control. Flashing a giant grin at the window, he was oblivious to the fact that a giant maple tree sat squarely in the path of the little plane. After the unfortunate crash, Gary bundled up, duct-taped two long pieces of furring strips together, and fished the Firebird out of the tree. After repairing one wing, it was good as new—almost.

As fall approached that first year without Nathan, and our family discussed calendar plans, there was an elephant in the room. What would we do with Christmas? The traditions of former Christmases and cherished family times no longer seemed possible. After a few contemplative moments, Megan voiced what we all were thinking and posed a solution. She stated that clearly there was just no way to recreate our family Christmas as we had always known it because Nathan wasn’t there. And she was right.

None of us are good “pretenders” and besides that, all of our hearts and minds were grieving. Megan suggested that we start a set of new traditions. On Christmas Eve, we had a nice meal together then opened our gifts that evening, something we had never done before. When we woke up Christmas Day, there was no pressure to “recreate” what we had treasured all those years, but just a time to be together.

How about you? Some people find comfort in continuing the exact same holiday traditions they have always enjoyed, while others need to do something new. Spend those days in whatever way seems best to you. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself grace. Is there a friend or family member who could spend the day with you? These holidays and milestone dates, like birthdays and Heaven days, may seem unbearable now. But in the future, and for some it is several years in the future, these days will become times to reflect on cherished memories that will bring solace and gratitude. Incidentally, our third Christmas without Nathan, we returned to our old traditions.

In a few days, we’ll attend a Christmas Eve service together and have our morning brunch and gift exchange. Although missing Nathan will always remain, we have joyous memories of the beautiful times together at Christmas and are able to talk about them.

It’s interesting how differently I see everything now as if I’ve gotten to pull back the thin veil that separates this earthly life from our future life in eternity. Many of the things that seemed so important before are put in proper perspective. What is Christmas? It’s all about God loving us, His creation, so much that He made a plan to redeem us.

Luke 2: 10-12 “But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people; for today in the city of David there has been born for you a Savior, who is [eChrist the Lord.”