Learning to Drive — Then and Now
May 24, 2020 — Laura House
Nathan dreamed of driving from an early age. Even as an eight-month-old, he wanted his turn in the Little Tikes Flintstone car. When he was five, we splurged on a summer family pass to King’s Island (they were having a special) and Nathan couldn’t contain his excitement about driving the bumper cars. So you can imagine his disappointment when we got to the front of the line, only to find a sign with a measurement showing how tall a driver had to be, and he wasn’t there yet. The next time we went, he even wore his cowboy boots, thinking it would add an inch or two and get him past the hump. We all remember the day when he finally made it.
At nine years old, he begged to sit on my lap and “drive” the van up our long lane after every outing. Gary and I both obliged to this request often, much to the chagrin of his siblings who were anxious to just get home. He couldn’t reach the pedals, but he could steer, while we did the accelerating and braking.
At the age of ten, he was tall enough to navigate up the lane alone in the driver’s seat when we arrived back from a trip to town. He’d whip around the corner into a parking spot by the house so fast that it drew complaints from the back seat every time.
As a teen, he loved the riding lawn mower because, it too, was “driving.” He’d practice backing it up and could parallel park the mower in the smallest nooks available.
So when the day finally came to obtain a learner’s permit, his exuberance made us all smile. He passed the test with ease and waited for Gary to get home. Are you wondering why I didn’t take him out driving? Well, I had learned a lot about myself while my older two were learning to drive and decided that I wasn’t the best teacher. According to Ryan and Megan, when I’m a passenger in the vehicle of a teenager with a new learner’s permit, I unknowingly clutch the door handle and gasp at every intersection, making them exceedingly nervous. Gary on the other hand, let them make mistakes! He wasn’t prone to gasping and when they approached a stop sign too fast, he said nothing and let the panic and slamming of brakes teach the driver a lesson for the next time. I willingly relinquished the role of driving teacher.
It happened to be a late evening for Gary at work and was already dark when he got home, but Nathan had been waiting a long time for this and was ready. Forgoing dinner, Gary headed back out to the van. As he held his keys out to give them to Nathan, Nathan reached into his pocket and pulled out another set and with a grin stated, “I don’t need yours Dad. I’ve had these since I was four.”
I love hearing Gary recount the experience as he let Nathan go wherever he wanted to. Apparently, he drove way too fast with complete confidence, giving no indication that it was his first time. And much to Gary’s surprise, when he passed the road he’d planned to turn on, he quickly slowed to a stop, put the van in reverse, and backed up at a high rate in the middle of the highway to turn where he had intended.
Just to set the record straight, he ended up becoming one of the safest drivers I’ve known and followed every law. You would have been comfortable riding with him.
I feel that since losing Nathan, I’ve been learning to drive all over again. Sometimes I am filled with confidence that I’ve mastered this new way of living as a bereaved parent, finding purpose and joy in my journey. But other times I feel that I’ve missed my turn and am backing up in the middle of the highway to try to figure out where I’m supposed to go. I’m grateful that I don’t have to rely on a human “driving” teacher or on myself, but that the Creator of all has promised to lead me if I’ll simply trust Him.
“And the Lord will continually guide you, And satisfy your desire in scorched places, And give strength to your bones; And you will be like a watered garden, And like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.” Isaiah 58:11
