Three Amigos
October 17, 2021 — Laura House
From the moment baby Nathan arrived home, our three kids were buddies. At just a few months old, Nathan would crack up laughing at Ryan’s antics and patiently let Megan line up her baby dolls all around him, making him part of her play. As they grew older, the relationships continually deepened and the three were inseparable.
When I look at the hundreds of pictures of all three children together, I particularly notice the arms around each other, an outward and visible sign of the intimacy and love they shared. Of course, the typical sibling rivalry existed, but at the same time, they exhibited a loyalty and love that was unparalleled. Their excursions included thousands of hours of incredibly adventurous play as children and daily interaction as adults. I could fill an entire book with stories of their childhood escapades. If you have more than one child, you could likely do the same.
Even when Nathan was in college, there were daily texts, weekly exercise times at the YMCA, and usually one night each week where they met at the theater or our house for a game or movie night. When Nathan left us, Ryan and Megan’s hearts were shattered, just like ours.
After losing a child, how do you deal with the memories like these that are so vividly recorded in your brain? If you are new to this journey, then every picture, every memory, every reminder may bring waves of grief and tears. But I want to encourage you that there will be a day when those remembrances no longer cause such a painful response. When you travel a little longer down the road, you’ll discover that along with grief there will be gratitude, and you’ll find yourself smiling and full of joy that those events happened in the first place, and can still be celebrated.
A few months after Nathan went to Heaven, we attended our first meeting of a bereaved parents group. Much to my dismay, as we approached the door, I heard laughter coming from inside the meeting room. It stopped me in my tracks and I hastily whispered to Gary that I wanted to go back home immediately. Really?! How could someone in that room be laughing? This certainly wasn’t where I belonged.
But it was too late. Someone had spotted us in the hallway and beckoned for us to come in. Begrudgingly I went, but to my surprise, I quickly found that the room full of bereaved parents, who were much further down the road than we were, turned their full attention to us. As we shared Nathan’s story, the compassion and love oozed from these newfound friends. Today, we are the ones whose laughter and joy are evident, even in the midst of missing Nathan more with each passing day.
If you are grieving the loss of a precious son or daughter, please be encouraged. You are traveling this unwanted, indescribable road of grief that is changing you in so many ways and challenging you to draw near to the One who loves you (and your sweet child) the most. In the midst of your pain, when you cry out to the Lord, you’ll begin to experience His presence and comfort in a way you’ve never before known. Your understanding of this earthly life will become clear, and the promise of Heaven, so much sweeter.
Thank you, Lord, for the memories we made with our children while they were here. Thank you for entrusting Your most precious creations to us during their earthly lives. Thank you for loving them even more than we do, and for loving us that way too. Thank you for the incredible gift of eternal life with You, that we look forward to more and more with each passing day.
