We Are Stronger Together
July 11, 2026 — Carol Brown
I recently heard a grieving mama who was new to the journey of child loss say that she felt she was losing her mind. Her poignant words took me back to the time I felt the same way. I remember laying my head on my desk during my lunch break one day and thinking, “this is what it’s like to go crazy.” Grief brain is real. The pain of losing a child takes up so much bandwidth in our minds that it’s difficult to think of anything else. The laundry goes unwashed, the beds unmade, and furniture undusted. The pantry and fridge are empty and the yard is untended. We forget appointments, fail to answer phone calls and texts, or pay bills. We are often late to work because it takes too much energy to get out of bed and prepare ourselves for the day ahead. We don’t recognize the current version of ourselves. We who once were on top of things, so highly organized and dependable, find that we just don’t care about the same things we used to. Life seems to be devoid of meaning or purpose. And don’t get us started on prayer or faith. We don’t have the heart or desire to practice either. In short, we find ourselves at the bottom of a pit full of despair and hopelessness.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
In the support group Alcoholics Anonymous, people who join are assigned a sponsor. The sponsor is also an alcoholic and is well aware of the issues involved in the lifelong battle against addiction. When the members feel they might be sliding into the temptation to drink, they can call on their sponsor for help. The sponsor also checks in regularly with the members to make sure they’re on a good path.
Two are indeed better than one. When we choose to form strong bonds with one another, when we share our struggles, as well as our progress, we become stronger and more able to bear the huge burden of grief. When we assure each other that the feeling of insanity is normal and will eventually pass, there is encouragement born of mutual experience and understanding. If one falls, and there is another to pick them up, both receive the blessing. Both grow stronger.
I know what it is to be alone in the pit, and I know what it is to have others to lift me up. The second scenario is infinitely preferable to the first. I have drawn much strength from people I’ve met on this journey, amazing folks with great insight, faith, and wisdom grown out of immeasurable pain. It took a few years to find them, but they have blessed my life in ways I couldn’t have foreseen in the beginning of this unexpected life.
Elizabeth Elliott wrote a book entitled “Suffering is Never for Nothing.” In it she quotes Psalm 51:17, “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart I will not despise.” She says this about the verse, “I’m sure some of you have a broken spirit, a broken heart. God will not despise that offering if that’s all you have to offer.”
When we choose to reach our hand down into the pit and help another suffering soul out into the light, our own suffering takes the shape of service, sacrifice, and ministry, and we start to look more like our Savior. It was He who lifted us out of the pit of sin and gave us a new life of hope and peace with God. Each of us as believers carry the warmth and light of the Holy Spirit living within us, and we are well equipped to share those gifts with our fellow travelers. Our suffering is never for nothing.
We are truly stronger together.
