He is Our Rock and Refuge

September 19, 2026 — Misty West

The continued traumas we endure after child loss make us wonder if we will ever escape the riptide that crashes upon us and pulls us under just when we are catching our breath.

I wondered how I would continue to endure the devastating loss of our son while navigating startling panic attacks, on-going responsibilities, and being sensitive to my husband and daughters as each grieves differently. Constantly turning my mind to Truth and praying for help is exhausting—and yet, the Lord is my help and my hope.

The Lord has faithfully held me fast, encouraged my heart, and continues to be my help. I praise Him for using a very simple device to help me: scripture pictures. The Lord has engrained pictures in my mind from scripture that reflect His character and His care.  In exhaustion or overwhelm when scripture is hard to remember in the pain, these scripture pictures are places my mind can return to, remember who the Lord is, and rest.

My Rock

At the moment of Jonathan’s death, my entire world crumbled away. I pictured myself in darkness, curled up on a high pillar knowing that Jesus was my only Rock. He was all I had. That security in complete brokenness was part of the Lord’s girding and comfort in that moment; my mind needed that picture to rest on in devastation. I wasn’t thinking of this scripture, but the Lord did this for me:

“In the day of trouble…He will hide me…He will lift me up on a rock.” Psalm 27:5

My Refuge Under His Wings

On one of my desperate days, I called out, “Where is this PEACE THAT PASSES UNDERSTANDING? When are You going to pay attention and help?” 

Immediately the Holy Spirit powerfully comforted me reminding me the Lord sees all and my place under the protection of His wings has not changed.  I started searching the scriptures for every reference to the image of the Lord’s protection “under His wings.”

Here are a few:

Be gracious to me, O God, be gracious to me

For my soul takes refuge in You;

And in the shadow of Your wings I will take refuge

Until destruction passes by. Psalm 57:1

Let me dwell in your tent forever

Let me take refuge under the shelter of your wings. Psalm 61:4

Jesus mourned over Jerusalem,

“…How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing!” Matt. 23:37

This picture, “under His wings,” was pivotal for me.

First, the Lord’s kindness led me to repentance and to rest in His care while His steadfast love girded me. He reminded me that no matter how I feel, my place in His Sovereign care hasn’t changed.

Second, my brokenness did not mean the Lord had neglected me. My brokenness was a feeling reflecting a tragic loss that my mind and body were grappling with. My brokenness reflected the exhaustion of trying to grasp my son’s death in light of who the Lord is. The Lord, Himself, continued to hold me in His care.

 HIDE and ABIDE        

My theme became Hide and Abide. As new panic attacks hit, as new waves of grief overwhelmed, when my nervous system spun out of control, my mind returned to this picture of being lovingly protected and cared for in the shadow of His wings.  I could rest there knowing in the midst of all that swirled around me, He held me fast.

I’m at 3 ½ years in this grief journey. Panic attacks have eased. Some days my nervous system still feels on heightened alert and wears me out. But when the overwhelming feelings hit, I can set my mind on my true reality: I am held in the Lord’s steadfast love, shielded by the Lord’s sovereign care. He alone is my Rock and my Refuge. He has helped and will continue to do so.

He will do the same for you.