Regular People
October 26, 2024 — Laura House
Do you remember the days right after your loved one was gone? Interacting with “regular people” was painstakingly difficult. By “regular people,” I mean those who were not mourning the loss of someone they loved. I realize now that many of those “regular people” had experienced loss, but they were further down the road and the loss had now become part of who they were. But I didn’t know that then.
They. Were. Everywhere. Regular people, going about their lives — smiling, laughing, joking, talking to each other about things that seemed so trivial. Didn’t they know Nathan was gone?! I remember finally having the energy to go to the grocery, only to be greeted by cheerful people at the door and questioned by the exuberant clerk, “How are you today?” She didn’t know me and was simply being pleasant and courteous. After all, “how are you” is the typical American greeting. I know I shouldn’t have said it, but this scenario had happened one too many times. To her shock and dismay, I replied. “Well, I’m having a really hard time. I just lost my son!” She stared at me, speechless. I felt bad about it later. It wasn’t her fault that I couldn’t be “regular” anymore — or so I thought.
Grief can make you feel like the intense pain will never end, but now I know that isn’t true. There will always be moments of grief until we are together again, reflective of the deep loss, but we grow stronger and are better able to carry our grief. When we are “ambushed” by grief, we interpret it differently. No longer does the grief cripple us, but it helps to mold and shape us, as we trust the Lord to carry us through.
Amazingly, grief and joy can co-exist! You may not know that to be true right now, but you’ll discover it in due time. Someone wisely told me that the way I felt right then was not how I was always going to feel. That proved to be completely true.
As you continue to trust Jesus through this painful chapter of your life, you will find that He will sustain you. When you cry out to Him in lament, He hears you and He cares. You are so deeply loved by the One who created you.
At the beginning of this journey, grief made me see the world in black and white. Now I see in color again. Where grief made me feel like a numb, lost wanderer, today “getting through” each day is no longer just that. I see purpose and beauty and the loving hand of God holding me and guiding me. Every day, precious memories of Nathan invade my mind and are welcomed there, making me thankful for the time he was here and reminding me of the promise of eternity.
Be patient with yourself, my friend. If you are broken, numb, bleeding, and feel like the pain will never end, know that this condition is temporary. Whether or not you are aware of His presence holding you, He is there. One day, you’ll emerge to find that spring has come to your weary heart.
You can fully trust the One who loves you most.
Isaiah 12:2 — “Behold, God is my salvation; I will trust, and will not be afraid; for the LORD GOD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation.”
Isaiah 41:10 — “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Psalms 9:10 — ”Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.”
Psalm 62:8 — “Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us.”
Hebrews 4:16 — “Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.”
–
If you are new to the journey of grief, please take time to view the following two presentations to learn more about how God invites us to lament.
