So Many Questions
February 28, 2026 — Carol Brown
For three Christmases in a row, Jackie’s grandmother gave her a jigsaw puzzle. It wasn’t just any puzzle but one that came with a mystery story. When all the pieces were fit together, the mystery could be solved. Of course my goal driven daughter insisted on working the whole puzzle in one day because she was determined to get the answer. The card table would be set up and she would labor diligently until she got the result she was looking for. One year however, she got to the end, only to discover a piece was missing. Without that crucial bit of information, the mystery remained unsolved. She spent a long time looking for it, and her frustration grew by the minute. We teased her about it then. But now, I find that I’m the one with the missing piece, and the mystery surrounding the loss of my full-of-life, filled-with-potential, Jesus-following girl has remained unsolved.
With the rise of social media and 24-hour news cycles, conspiracy theories abound. When the elderly mother of a prominent TV news personality suddenly vanishes from her home, so-called experts are quick to give their opinions in the absence of concrete answers.The assassination of President Kennedy in the 1960s has fostered numerous theories, but the questions remain. We may never know. It is said that “nature abhors a vacuum,” and so do we as human beings. When answers we so desperately seek are not found, that vacuum can leave us frustrated, angry, hopeless. We want, even demand, access to the information that completes the puzzle of our present circumstances.
Unfortunately, well-meaning folks try to fill the void for us with unsatisfying, and sometimes untrue statements.
“God needed another angel.” God needs nothing and our children do not become angels.
“God didn’t want your child to suffer anymore.” God could have healed my child on earth. What about my suffering?
I’m sure you could think of many more examples. We can identify with our old friend Job when he says to his poor comforters: “How long will you torment me and crush me with words?” (Job 19:2)
Unlike Jackie, who eventually found the missing puzzle piece and solved the mystery, I’m still waiting for my faith to become sight.
In her book, Suffering Is Never For Nothing, Elizabeth Elliott reminds the reader that “all of Christianity rests on mysteries,” including the Trinity, the virgin birth, creation, incarnation, resurrection and redemption, and all core tenets of our Christian world view that we accept on faith without a full understanding about how those things occurred and how they operate in the world and in our lives. My faith in those tenets is not deterred by my lack of understanding. On the contrary, it is undergirded by a strong belief in God who designed the world and will carry out His purpose for it and for me, even as I grieve the loss of my daughter. I’ve found that instead of living in the question mark of all I cannot know about why my child was taken from this earth at such a young age, I receive more peace, more comfort, and more confidence in my faith when I set my mind on what I know to be true.
“…being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” — Philippians 1:6
Is it wrong to ask questions after such a traumatic event as child loss? The short answer is no. We have many biblical examples of those who have grappled with the unknown including the aforementioned Job, along with David, and even Jesus as he hung on the cross, alone and forsaken. As with Job, God doesn’t often give specific explanations as to why our feet have been set upon the path of suffering. But when we come to Him in humility, as little children, laying aside our demands and right to know the unknowable, He fills us with Himself. Getting the answers we think we deserve would do nothing to change our circumstances or alleviate our pain. But receiving more of God Himself, the Great I Am, the Healer, the Comforter, the Provider, is life-changing. It was for Job, for David, and for it will be for us.
“My ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you.” — Job 42:5
