The Gift of Remembering

January 16, 2026 — Deb Rhodes

We love to see our friends post pictures of what their children are doing and we listen as they talk about them. We ask about their activities, accomplishments, their journey through life because we are truly interested. But as bereaved parents, we don’t get asked much about our children; nor are they even mentioned much after a while. One thing that bereaved parents are afraid of is people forgetting their child. So, if/when someone mentions our children, it is one of the greatest gifts we can receive.

I recently received that great gift not once, but four times all in the same month! Each came as a total surprise, while I was just going through a normal day, changing it from normal to extraordinary in a minute. If you are a bereaved parent, you’ll relate to how special these moments are. And if you aren’t bereaved, I hope this post might help you know how meaningful it would be for you to reach out to those who are missing someone.

Our daughter, Natalie, went to Heaven in 2011 and our son, David, joined her in 2021. And while I know they aren’t forgotten, we don’t often hear their names spoken outside of family and close friends. But that wasn’t the case in December.

I was shopping at a store in town that had just opened. At checkout, the employee looked at me and asked, “Aren’t you Natalie’s mom?” What a surprise!!! I said yes and she proceeded to tell me how she knew Natalie, recounting playing softball against each other when they were young.

A couple weeks later as I was grocery shopping, someone I knew but hadn’t seen in a very long time, stopped me to tell me (out of the blue!) what a great camp counselor Natalie was to her son when he attended church camp. Keep in mind that it was nearly twenty-eight years ago when that happened! She said they still talk about his experience there and it always includes memories of Natalie. What a gift to this momma’s heart to learn of the impact she had.

That same month, I went to an elementary school to read to a group of kindergarten students. A substitute teacher was in the classroom that day. She looked at me and said, “You know me. Through David.” I looked again and recognized her as someone who had attended the same church as David. She talked about some of the things she remembered about him. 

The next one came totally out of the blue! You know when you see a message that says, “You don’t know me, but…” you cringe, bracing for a spam message. This was not a spam message, but nothing less than God’s hand letting us know that David made an impact on this world. It was from a young lady who had been kicked out of school and put into David’s class at an alternative school approximately eighteen years ago. She told of him playing music in the classroom and that some days, she hears a song that reminds her of him. She decided to look him up on Facebook, not knowing that he had died. Then she took the time to find me, and she reached out to tell me what an impact he had on her when she was going through a difficult time in her life. She spoke of how he treated her and the other students with respect and encouraged them to make the most of their lives going forward. She even sent me a couple of pictures from that time. We had a conversation about her faith. David would be so pleased to know that she knows Jesus!

If you’re a bereaved parent, you know what an absolute treasure this was to me. God must have known that I needed these gifts during the month of December, which can be a hard month. I know in my head that my children aren’t forgotten, but it’s a balm to my heart to hear that from others.

I pray that God will do the same for each of you who is missing a child or children. If you’re not a bereaved parent, please don’t be afraid to bring up our children! It won’t make us sadder or make us miss them more. It might bring a tear to our eyes, but it will bring a smile to our face and a hug to our heart. It is one of the greatest gifts you can give us.

Proverbs 17:17 — "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

Galatians 6:2 — "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ". 

Psalm 34:18 —“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”