Two weeks from now we’ll gather online for our first Our Hearts Are Home conference, and we hope you might join us there. If you are a bereaved parent or someone who would like to better understand how to minister to a grieving friend, come share this time with us.

What would the Church look like if each of us demonstrated simple active kindness to someone every day? Let’s see!

Knowing that God is in control of the world and the future, brings me comfort. It remains to be seen what 2021 will bring. But whatever is ahead of us will come as no surprise to Him.

Writing about Nathan’s name turned my mind to thinking about all of the names in the Bible that refer to Jesus — the name above all names, our Messiah. On Friday of this week, we will celebrate His birth and His plan for our redemption.

I’m amazed at how important these memories of clothing seem to be. If you are a bereaved mom, then I’m guessing that you can picture your sweet child’s clothes through the years as well.

After Nathan left us I began a quest for learning, unlike anything I’d ever done before. I had so many questions! Why are we really here? What’s the point of earthly life? Does God “cause” people to die or simply “allow” it? Why does a loving God allow pain and suffering? What am I personally supposed to do until I die?

I have experienced His love for me throughout my life, but it was only through the greatest sorrow I have ever known that an understanding of the depth of His love became evident to me. Sometimes I wonder how I didn’t see it before.

But as full of life as he always was on earth, I know he’s even more alive today. Our real life, full and eternal, awaits for those of us that are still here.

Am I dragging around an oversized suitcase full of earthly things that weigh me down and have no eternal value? Is my focus on things that truly matter? Am I storing up “treasures in heaven?

Only fifteen months before Nathan left us, my mom was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. When she called me with the grim diagnosis, I was heart-broken and desperate to tell someone. Nathan was the only one home at the time, and as I headed downstairs to find him, he met me with open arms. I’ll never forget him holding me tightly as I grieved the news I had just been given.

Illnesses and accidents happen, regardless of our diligence—regardless of our love. The “Mama Bear” in us strives to take care of things, always ensuring that our children are protected and thriving. And as hard as it may be for us to admit, there are things in this earthly life that are out of our control— many things.

I can’t help but think that our earthly lives have some similarities. We are part of a battle, striving in the midst of it to glorify the Lord with our lives, and in the end, we just want to make it home.

“All roads lead to Rome.” I’m sure you’ve heard that phrase. Early in my grief, all roads led to Nathan. All day long, normal life things led to heart-wrenching memories of him.

The only time I remember Nathan flying as a child was at the local airport when a former air force pilot took our kids up in his small plane as part of a field trip. But by the time he was a teenager, Nathan was determined to learn to fly.

I feel that since losing Nathan, I’ve been learning to drive all over again. Sometimes I am filled with confidence that I’ve mastered this new way of living as a bereaved parent, finding purpose and joy in my journey. But other times I feel that I’ve missed my turn and am backing up in the middle of the highway to try to figure out where I’m supposed to go.

I’ve always been thankful for the wisdom my husband sheds on situations in our lives. But this time, I didn’t ask or listen. I guess my desire to bring joy to my children skewed my perception of things.

During the thirty-seven years of our marriage, the beach has always been our “happy place” — and we passed that love on to our three children.

We loved camping. I look back now and am surprised that I not only survived but actually thrived in those experiences. Back then, it seemed like nothing to pack up the kids and van, head to a state park and tent-camp in the rain, wind, and one time, unexpected snow.

Many children seem to have a natural aptitude for sports, and Nathan was no exception. If you are the mom of a child involved in sports, you’ve likely attended not only hundreds of games through the years, but also, dozens of award ceremonies, parent meetings, and end-of-the-year banquets.

When Nathan was ten, Gary and I won a trip to Cancun. Rarely traveling without the kids, this was a new adventure for us, and for them. As we pulled out of our driveway to head to my parent’s house, where the kids would be pampered by grandparents for the duration of our trip, Nathan spotted his beloved cat, Todd, clearly limping.